10. Your cellar, basement, kitchen, and/or garage smells like hops
9. You have upgraded your bath and/or beauty regime to include only the finest organic hop products
8. While others are out on Haunted Hollywood tours, you prefer to know the ins and outs of hop fields
7. After a night of too many double IPA’s, this happened:
6. If you had an emoji, it would be “Wrecked Palate Face”
5. Your home décor involves fresh Humulus Lupulus
4. You know Nelson Sauvin, and it’s not your neighbor’s cousin
3. You keep a Hop Chart handy
2. Pliny The Younger
1. You’ll down right, straight up, literally eat hop pellets
Beer Goggles: slang term for the notion that, through the consumption of alcohol, an unattractive person becomes beautiful
Photo credit: andrewjrivers.com
While this phenomenon typically occurs at a bar, there are a few other places where most of us wish we had them. For example:
3) The Beach – You find a nice spot in front of the waves, you set your cooler down, stretch out your towel, pop open a cold brew and you spot a handsome Richard Gere look-alike with a dazzling tan dashing out of the water. That’s Beer Goggles. In reality, it’s Hulk Hogan.
2) The Fitting Room – The dreaded 360 degree mirror and the horrible lighting in most fitting rooms suddenly stomps on a previous fantasy we had of how good we would look in skinny jeans, or a crop top, or a fitted tee or stripes. Suddenly, we look like Adam Sandler in “Jack and Jill.”
1) Wal-Mart – See “Walmartians” below
Beyond beer festivals, beer bottle-shaped cake pans, and craft beer itself, there’s one topic more important to cover first: WHAT IS BEER IPA?
In Peter LaFrance’s Beer Basics, he describes it as: “INDIA PALE ALE: The name given to a high-gravity (7% to 8% alcohol by volume) pale ale that was intentionally well-hopped so that it could survive the long voyage from the United Kingdom to the far reaching…British Empire.”
Hopped?? You ask? Hop refers to a flowering herb used as a preservative. This ultimately determines the taste in beer also. Stay tuned for a full beer glossary….
Featured: Raging Bitch Belgian Style IPA
Alcohol content: 8.30% brewed by Flying Dog Brewery. We recently tried it at Blue Dog Beer Tavern in Sherman Oaks, CA. Great sports bar with outdoor patio!
Recommended for: “double IPA” lovers or those who enjoy dark beer more than light. It has a sharp after taste!
Not recommended for: your boss’s birthday party, ANY office party, your girlfriend during that time of month, or Mother’s Day gift.